Category: Parenting after Shame

After carrying so much weight, so many walls built for protection, it might feel like softness is a luxury you can’t afford. You might think being gentle means being vulnerable, exposed, or even weak. But softness is not weakness. Softness is strength dressed in quiet clothes. It’s the courage to lower the shields, to trust…

There’s a version of you that used to hope so freely. That used to believe things would work out. That people would stay. That love, once found, would be enough. That life would eventually be kind if you just kept giving it your all. But over time, that version of you faded. Not because you…

People often say, “You’ve changed,” when they notice that you don’t open up as easily anymore. That you’re quieter now. Softer in some places, but sharper in others. What they don’t see is why. It’s not that you’ve hardened. It’s that life taught you to guard your tenderness. There were times you showed up fully,…

It’s hard to be both powerful and tender when you’ve only ever been rewarded for your power. So many of us learned early that strength is what gets you love—or at least what keeps you from being hurt. We were praised for being “resilient,” admired for being “strong,” and depended on because we always handled…

Softness doesn’t mean weakness. It means strength that’s no longer afraid to rest. I lived a long time confusing the two—thinking that if I slowed down, I’d fall apart. That if I asked for help, I’d be seen as less. That softness was a luxury for people who had support, safety, privilege… not for those…