Romans 8:33-35, 37 ICB
[33] Who can accuse the people that God has chosen? No one! God is the One who makes them right. [34] Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died, but that is not all. He was also raised from death. And now he is on God’s right side and is begging God for us. [35] Can anything separate us from the love Christ has for us? Can troubles or problems or sufferings? If we have no food or clothes, if we are in danger, or even if death comes—can any of these things separate us from Christ’s love? [37] But in all these things we have full victory through God who showed his love for us.
If there’s one story I don’t want any comments, DMs, or reactions to, it’s this one. Please.
I love reading at night—the peace and quiet make it easy to reflect. Last night, during my devotions, I came across two paragraphs that struck me deeply. They spoke about insecurities, self-worth, and the way rejection—or even just the fear of it—can shape how we see ourselves. Sometimes, we are so afraid of being unwanted that we reject ourselves first, believing it’s better to withdraw than to face the pain of someone else turning away. But in reality, it is our own self-rejection—our mistaken belief that we must prove our worth outside of God—that creates the very rejection we fear.
The words I read stayed with me because they mirrored so much of my own journey. For years, I struggled to accept myself, convinced that who I had become was not enough. I pushed people away, not because they didn’t love me, but because I believed they couldn’t—not truly, not without conditions. But the more I tried to protect myself, the more I reinforced the lie that I was unworthy of love.
Today, I want to share my journey with self-rejection—how it started, how it shaped me, and what I am learning about finding true worth.
For a long time, I have struggled with deep-seated insecurities. Yesterday, in class, we were asked to rate our self-acceptance on a scale of 1 to 10. Everyone else confidently said 9, 10, or 8, but when it got to me, I hesitated. I don’t lie, and the truth is, I have a very poor self-image. No matter how many people tell me otherwise, I unfortunately fully believe what I believe about myself. I eventually said 5, but deep down, it felt much lower.
Let me share a story that even I find hard to believe. I used to be very, very beautiful—so beautiful that it was almost unbelievable. Then, I was in a road accident—the one that took my mother’s life. I underwent numerous rounds of reconstructive surgery on my face. My nasal bone isn’t even mine; it’s a piece of my rib. My smile was once so radiant that I won a Dentyne advert because of it. But during the accident, my upper lip was split in two, and that’s why my smile is now crooked.
My body suffered multiple fractures—both legs, one hand, one ankle, both eye sockets, my nose, both jawbones. Almost everything. I used a wheelchair for some time (the day God healed me and I could walk again is a story for another day), I had metal plates inserted, and my facial bones are now held together by wires and implants. I don’t even know how they do it.
Reconciling how I used to look with how I looked after the accident was like night and day. While I was in the hospital, my dad made a rule that no one was allowed to bring a mirror into my room. He feared I would die from the shock of seeing myself. I remained in ICU for close to a month. All those surgeries, of course, left scars.
So when someone asks me about self-acceptance, nothing has been harder for me than accepting this new reality. I hated myself. I rejected love from everyone because I believed they were either being fake, had ulterior motives, or were just waiting to make fun of me.
And I leaned into that rejection. I developed unhealthy relationships. I didn’t take care of my hair. I didn’t dress well. I made sure I looked exactly how I felt—unwanted. Rejecting myself had become my norm, and I wanted others to reject me too.
Yesterday, my friend Ofentse—who wrote a testimonial on our page—shared something that resonated deeply with me. She said that until you truly love yourself, you will never attract true love. That you will always attract people who love you the way you love yourself. Her words made me reflect on my life and the kind of people I had allowed in. I realised she was absolutely right. Every broken relationship I’ve had was rooted in my broken sense of self-worth, self-love, and self-acceptance. Had I truly loved and accepted myself, I would never have settled for the kind of love I accepted in the past.
Later, I was talking to Pauline, and I told her I now understand why I don’t like being so tired. After my mother passed, I was left to manage the home at just 17. My dad would send me money to pay workers’ salaries, buy food, handle maintenance—everything. Once it was finished, he would send more. Please don’t judge me, but I only knew how to receive and manage money. I never questioned where it came from; I only knew how to distribute it.
I told Pauline that when I drive a car in the future, I want it to be one that everyone knows was bought for me by my husband—not one I bought for myself. Because I love to be taken care of. My father has taken care of me all my life. Hustling is not for me. Even the Bible says that men shall till the land by the sweat of their brows. It never said that about women. Again, don’t judge me.
Looking back at my past relationship, I realise why it failed. I was working so hard for myself and my daughter, taking on a role that wasn’t meant for me. That relationship was dysfunctional because I was doing what wasn’t mine to do. Just to be clear, I’m not saying women shouldn’t work. I will never quit Graceful, but Graceful will never be my source of sustenance.
That post by Ofentse and the conversation with Pauline made me see clearly how I had attracted the wrong kind of people into my life. It all stemmed from how poorly I viewed myself.
Now, let’s get back into today’s word.
There is a kind of rejection that cuts deeper than any wound—the rejection we inflict upon ourselves. It sneaks in quietly, weaving itself into our thoughts until it becomes the lens through which we see everything. We convince ourselves that we are not enough, not worthy, not wanted. And when we believe it long enough, we start to live it out. We push people away, sabotage relationships, settle for less, and shrink ourselves into the small, dark corners where rejection feels safe because at least it is familiar.
But the truth is, rejection—whether from others or from ourselves—was never meant to define us. The only voice that holds the power to speak over our worth is God’s. And He has already spoken.
Romans 8:33-35, 37 says:
Who can accuse the people that God has chosen? No one! God is the One who makes them right. Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died, but that is not all. He was also raised from death. And now he is on God’s right side and is begging God for us. Can anything separate us from the love Christ has for us? Can troubles or problems or sufferings? If we have no food or clothes, if we are in danger, or even if death comes—can any of these things separate us from Christ’s love? But in all these things we have full victory through God who showed his love for us.
This is the truth that breaks every lie.
No one can say I am not enough because God says I am chosen.
No one can say I am not beautiful because I am fearfully and wonderfully made – even with my scars.
No one can say I am not wanted because Jesus Himself is at the right hand of God, interceding for me.
For years, I have battled the weight of my own rejection, but today, I choose to lay it down. I choose to believe what God says about me, not what my insecurities have whispered all these years. I choose to accept that my worth has never been found in my appearance, my achievements, or anyone’s approval—it has always been anchored in Him. Amen.
And if Jesus is begging God for me, then I must be worth more than I ever allowed myself to believe.
That is my word for today. No reactions, no messages—please respect that.
Have a beautiful day. 🖤