1 Peter 3:10-11 NLT
“If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.”
The part about keeping your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies resonates deeply with me. If there is one principle I strive to live by, it is being truthful. I’ve always struggled with the thought of telling a lie—it’s just not who I am. I am intentional and aware of what I say to people. I would rather tell you the truth and risk you disliking me than lie to make you comfortable.
I am not the kind of person who would rather say something harsh or hurtful just because I’m speaking the truth. There are people who are ruthless in how they share the truth, but what they lack is wisdom. The Bible teaches us in Ephesians 4:29, “Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” Speaking the truth requires wisdom. If you don’t have a kind or honourable way to correct someone, it’s often better to remain quiet. That’s my principle: if I can’t express the truth in a way that builds someone up or conveys my message with grace, I’d rather stay silent than tell a lie.
I have a cousin who speaks the truth without wisdom. She will say the most painful things, completely shattering someone, and then justify it with “Bora nimekwambia ukweli” (at least I told you the truth). I do not subscribe to that school of thought. Truth without grace is destructive. I wanted to make this clear before continuing because my belief in truth isn’t about being cruel or insensitive; it’s about aligning with God’s Word and sharing the truth in a way that honours Him.
Recently, I was talking to a friend about how difficult I find it to relate to people who aren’t genuine. When someone twists facts to gain an advantage, I find it unsettling. I believe in openness and transparency, even in relationships. I remember being advised in the past that in relationships, it’s better not to be too honest. That advice didn’t sit well with me. I chose to be completely honest about my life, even when it cost me.
This is the difference between the word of God and the world’s wisdom. The world says, “Hide the truth to protect yourself.” But God’s Word tells us, “Keep your lips from telling lies.” And that is what I will always strive to do. I would rather lose friendships than compromise my integrity. Why would God bless me with friendships that require me to go against His Word?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a lie? It’s exhausting. You have to remember the lie you told previously so your current actions align. You’re constantly calculating and thinking about what to say next because you can’t speak freely. It’s mentally draining. I pity people who live in this cycle—always working to uphold their lies. But when you speak the truth, it sets you free.
The truth you speak today is absolute. A hundred years from now, it will still be the truth. You’ll never tire yourself trying to remember past stories to keep up appearances. Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.” Living in truth is so liberating.
I’ve experienced this freedom even in one of the most challenging areas of my life—my separation. I’ve never told my dad or extended family about it, but if they were to ask, I wouldn’t lie. Initially, I described everything in detail to those around me. It was hours of honesty, reliving every moment from the past five years leading to my decision to leave.
But after going through the Divorce Care class at Nairobi Chapel, I learned the power of summarising the truth without diminishing it. If someone asks now, I simply say, “We separated.” Full stop. It’s not a lie or half-truth; it’s the whole truth. If anyone asks for details, I summarise further: “Abuse.” That’s it.
Living honestly may not always be easy, but it’s freeing. It aligns with God’s Word, which sets us apart from the world. Let us speak the truth in love, with wisdom and boundaries, and trust God with the consequences. When we live in truth, we live in freedom.
Have a beautiful day. 🖤